To Be Closer
by TheWhoufflePrincess
Summary: The Doctor has a hard time sleeping with this regeneration, with nightmares plaguing his sleeping hours. After a trip to a war planet, he needs sleep more than ever, but he's afraid to do so. Luckily for him, Clara Oswald was there for him and she would never leave. [There's a shower scene, but nothing inappropriate happens. Kinda more sensual, rated T to be safe.]


A slightly clingy Doctor. You can see it as OC or not. Ah, as much as I wish I made this into smut, I did not. I'm sorry. The words just kept going. A story made in an hour. My record, I'd say.

Slightly established whouffaldi, but never acted upon until now. Bits of whouffle is also mentioned, but nothing was acted on either.

* * *

Sleep.

The one thing he criticized humans on; _really_ criticized them on. Besides their pudding brains and whatnot, he constantly stated how absolutely ridiculous it was for them to dedicate eight hours a day on staying in a stasis state when those eight hours could be used for other things instead of sleeping their lives away. They were wasting perfect life! Absolutely fragile human life, wasted on laying down on a bed.

He himself, however, wouldn't admit he too needed sleep. Not as much as the ridiculous eight hours, but he still needed it, no matter how many times he stared down sleep with a scrutinizing gaze.

Every regeneration was different. Some needed some hours, some needed days and then they'd be able to go about their daily business with saving galaxies for a month or two straight. One in particular needed eight hours, much to his irritation. For this Doctor, he needed only four to last him awhile, depending on how excruciating the workload was.

He needed that sleep, but sometimes, he genuinely avoided it. Sleep left him uncomfortable. Sleep left him irritated. Sleep left him _scared_. Something he didn't like. New regeneration, new rules. Unfortunately for him, this one had nightmares to compensate for his lack of sleep. It was always the possible scenarios that _could_ have happened, but didn't. What if he was minutes too late and the leader of Gaplan had executed Clara? What if he said the wrong thing and they were both rotting in a jail cell? _What if?_ The simplest of questions to ask, yet always the hardest to answer.

This particular adventure, however, left him desiring sleep more than normal.

They were on Vardae, commonly known for their wars. It had been a complete accident, as the Doctor intended to take Clara to Varda _y_ , it's cousin planet. They had plopped in the middle of a war and the TARDIS chose to de-materialize at that point. They had stayed on that planet for a week, much to the Doctor's dismay. The war-struck planet only reminded the Doctor of his...previous troubles with Gallifrey. It made him uneasy and worried, which was why he choose to stay and guard Clara and her sleeping body, despite Clara's constant remarks about how one day, it was going to get to him. He refused sleep, muttering some rubbish about him never needing sleep. Clara, too taken aback by all the war, did not question it as much as she normally would and slept in his arms. It was a comfort, the Doctor noted to himself, for her to be with him. He felt safe. There were many times in that week where he actually _wanted_ to sleep, his arms wrapped around Clara. It made the week bearable.

The TARDIS came back after that said week, once the tensions died down and the planet's two high powers had signed a treaty. They were in the middle of consoling the refugees when she came. The Doctor raced to the TARDIS, of course, but Clara stayed, making sure that everyone was alright. Once she was absolutely sure, she followed the Doctor to the TARDIS, where he was bent forward, his back turned towards her.

"Doctor?" She asked curiously, realizing he didn't spin around and say something spectacular, as he normally would. "Are you alright?"

He shook himself awake from his standing sleep, turning and looking to her.

"I'm alright." He said gruffly, looking away again to rub his eyes. He needed to man up and get used to the nightmares. It would be impossible to continue like this.

"Doctor," Ah, the teacher voice, "Are you tired?"

"No."

"Doctor, did you sleep before this adventure?" She motioned towards the doors, where they were still on the planet. He pulled switches and maneuvered the TARDIS so he didn't have to respond to Clara's question. He pulled on the lever, allowing the TARDIS to depart and go into the time vortex.

She was, unfortunately, extremely insistent. She stood next to him, looking at him. "No more lies," she murmured. She was right. No more lies. He couldn't lie to her.

"It's hard, with this regeneration, to sleep." He admitted quietly, looking back at her. "I think my mind is much more active when I am in slumber, which results in..."

"In?" She prodded gently, placing her hand above his, which still held the lever.

"Nightmares. Many of them. My mind is so advanced, it just...creates scenarios that didn't happen." _You died, in almost all of them._

"Could I help?" Oh Clara. The corners of his lips went up slightly. There were many things he could ask for, but he asked for something so simple.

"Be around me." He requested silently. She raised her eyebrows. It was quite an out of character thing to ask, but she smiled softly and nodded when she made her mind up.

"Okay, here's the deal. You and I, we're going to sleep in my room together. You will fall asleep. If you have any nightmares, I'll be with you through it all. Alright? Just like after Trenzalore." Right. Trenzalore, when Clara shredded her being for him to live. She had nightmares for months. To help her get through it all, they had slept together during those times. Sometimes his bow tie past slept when he needed to and others, he computed calculations in his mind as he held her close. When he regenerated, they stopped doing that, because neither were sure if the opposite party was alright with it. When he found out this regeneration had nightmares, he refused to let Clara know, even if he did usually wake up in a pool of his own sweat.

He allowed Clara to lead him to her conveniently placed room, hands linked together. It was much nicer than before, with a large queen bed and dark red sheets, as well as a generally much larger room than most. Mementos of their adventures laid all around the room, with pictures that Clara managed to obtain. She used tape to paste them on the walls, after an accident with the TARDIS and thumbtacks.

"I'm going to take a shower first. I don't know about you, but I really need one. These black marks make it look like I'm homeless. Can't have that happening." Clara said and worry flashed the Doctor's eyes. He shouldn't worry; it was just her going to another portion of the room, yet he was. He was terrified. His hand clasped slightly tighter to hers and she raised an eyebrow. "Doctor?" His throat felt restricted; he couldn't speak. He didn't want her to leave either. "Hey, hey, it's alright. It's just next door. Do you...just want to come in the shower with me? We can wear bathing suits, if you'd like." He let his eyes do the talking and it amazed him that Clara could actually understand. It must be because she was a teacher; seeing social cues and understanding quiet students was her specialty.

"Alright. I'm sure the TARDIS has bathing suits for both of us, yeah?" He nodded slowly, letting her take him to the bathroom that was definitely larger than before, but Clara didn't question it. Hanging on the rack were two fluffy towels, one red and one blue. Same with the bathing suits -a bikini and swim trunks- both respectfully those colors. "Do you want to change first? I won't look." She assured him, turning and letting go of his hand.

He removed his layers and his shoes, all the way until he was in the nude. He put on the swim trunks, which were a decent shade of blue. A good shade he liked very much. He turned and handed Clara her own suit. He placed the now discarded clothing in the hamper as she changed herself. It took her much less time than he did, due to her clothing just being a long sleeved sweater dress. She carefully fastened the top portion of the bikini and when she was satisfied, took the Doctor into the shower and started the water. It was automatically a warmth they could both appreciate.

"Would you like me to wash your hair?" A nod. "Bend down a bit." She instructed him, moving the shower head so it was hitting his silvery curls. He did as he was told and the lid of the shampoo bottle clicked. A hand went around him and the water was turned off, leaving the sounds of the water draining and their soft breaths lingering. The smell of strawberries started to waft around in the air from her shampoo bottle, then to her small hands. Clara's hands were then in his hair, massaging circles into his scalp. It was soothing, so, so, soothing. She rubbed small semi-circles behind his ears, then the circles got larger and larger as she got around the rest of his hair. He smiled at her slightly as she focused intently, making sure to get every side possible. She then turned on the water again, her hands still massaging around his top as the shampoo started to come out. Clara then reached for the shampoo bottle and was about to put some on her hand for herself, when he took it from her.

"Let me." His voice finally came to. She nodded meekly. He stood up straight, moving their positions in the semi large shower. Clara was now the one getting drenched, her makeup deprived face staring back at him as he focused, coping her movements. Shower off, click, lather, massage. It felt intimate, the Doctor noted, as he massaged her hair. It was surprising that his hands were not trembling. To be fair, at least he wasn't his last regeneration. He probably wouldn't be able to control his hands. Shower on, rinse. She reached for the strawberry wash next.

"It's alright if you don't want this, I'll just put some on me." She said. The Doctor merely shook his head, taking the bottle from her and clicking it open. It was the same process with the shampoo, only the canvas was much wider. Shower off, lather, massage.

He started with her shoulders. He never really realized how smooth they were. They were small, but average as they were. He went down one arm, her left, noticing the bit of muscle from the bicep. It wasn't a lot, but it was a bit noticeable. He went down her other one, same process. He noticed her nails, how they were colored. He liked it.

He put more wash on his hand, going to her neck. He started from the top, going down slowly. He hesitated at the chest, but Clara nodded ever so slightly. He went around the top of the swimsuit, slightly soaping up her cleavage, then going around her stomach. There was a bit of fat there, but it was a healthy amount for a human. Nothing too much and yet, nothing too little.

Then, the trail down her curves. He mapped every portion of them in his memory, hoping that he would never have to forget it. Another squirt from the bottle. He passed the bottom portion of the swimsuit, starting off with one thigh. He was careful not to hit her in the wrong areas as he bent down. One leg to the other. She had painted her toenails red, just like her fingers. He met her eyes and requested for her to turn around. She complied, turning. Her back was beautiful. Another squirt from the bottle, yet again. He massaged her back, feeling the tenseness fade with each stroke of his hand. He slid down slowly, once again, avoiding the lower half.

She was bloody beautiful.

The beauty of humans was never lost to him. He saw it all the time, yet he was so sure for the first time that _this_ , was beauty. He adored every second he was taking from this, the consent being given and the time that always seemed to rush after him was slowing down, for once.

Shower on, rinse.

What were they doing, really? Do best friends do this? Do they massage each other? Do they go into the shower together? Do they stare at each other with longing like this? The lines he had made at the very start of his new life as this body were blurring, fast now.

They switched spots again. Clara returned the favor. Click of the bottle, squirting out the strawberry smelling wash. Shower off. She followed his movements, especially stopping at the patch of hair that was on his chest. She made sure that every portion got love, just like he did. The silence, besides their breaths and the dripping of water was nuts. He obeyed when she requested for him to turn and managed to follow how he massaged her.

Shower on, rinse. The water flowed, cascading down the shower head. Both parties were hit with the warmth. Ah, they were ever so close. Being close turned into leaning in. Who leaned in first? It didn't matter. It was filled with much meaning, yet didn't go so far as to become a sexual rampage. It was a kiss. A deep and meaningful kiss. His arms went around her waist, while hers went around his neck.

The need for air came. Clara looked to him, smiling. He managed to smile back as they let go of each other.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He muttered.

"We should do it more often." Clara responded, turning off the shower. She pushed the shower door open and grabbed their respected towels. Hanging on the rack were two outfits. Clara got her underthings and her normal wear, which was usually a shirt, in this case, with the color of dark red and gray sweatpants. The Doctor had star printed sweatpants and a simple white t-shirt, along with his underthings. They dried themselves respectively, Clara stepping out first, then the Doctor followed. They changed, back to back, choosing that they were nowhere near seeing each other without clothes. No need to rush into anything. They just needed each other.

Clara pulled out a hairdryer from a drawer and dried her hair, with a hairbrush in her hand. She had the most up to date hairdryer, in which her hair would dry in a minute. The Doctor watched, waiting for his turn. He didn't want to sleep with damp hair. It was interesting to watch her do something so domestic and casual, after their kiss in the shower. They had acknowledged it, but neither said a word after it.

She motioned for him to approach when her hair was dry. She let her hands comb through, rather than the brush. It was interesting to feel the curls, as they felt fluffy and soft. He noted her amusement.

The drying portion was finished, then it was off to bed, wordlessly. They both climbed in. Clara was hesitant, but she didn't need to be. The Doctor pulled her close, regardless. She embraced him, an arm lazily wrapped around his middle and her head on his shoulder. The smell of strawberries wafted through the air prominently.

The TARDIS lowered the lights for her occupants, allowing for a beautiful night's sleep. Neither occupants slept yet, just enjoying each other's embrace. Later, they'd have to discuss what happened tonight, but right now, they just wanted it all to slow down and to let this embrace take them into a new step.

"Clara?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you, for staying with me."

"No, Doctor, _thank you_."

And with that, the Doctor fell into an easy sleep. He slept for longer than four hours, for once in so many years, with Clara Oswald by his side, as it was meant to be.

* * *

Just look around cause this is right  
where you and I belong.

I want you now,  
So please don't let me down,  
Oh just shut your mouth,  
and know that you are everything to me,  
Can we just let go,  
From what we can't control,  
And if the world spins too fast,  
I'll slow it down for you.

\- _Slow It Down_ , The Goo Goo Dolls


End file.
